Q: What do you do to remain active in recovery to avoid complacency?

A.

This is a complicated question because my program of recovery has evolved substantially over the years. Remember, when I first got clean, back in 2011, I did so in an intensive inpatient treatment center with a rigorous schedule packed with A.A. meetings, group classes, one-on-one counseling, etc. I detail it in One Hit Away, and it was a lot. The running joke at the time was that after two years of inpatient treatment, any graduate from the program “should” leave with more education and experience in recovery and the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous than most men and women on the streets. In fact, there was a point where I could accurately recite entire passages of the program by heart, but now, if I were put on the spot and asked to recite the Twelve Steps verbatim, I’d probably make a few mistakes.

But hey, progress, not perfection, right?

After leaving the program, I participated as an outpatient client until I received my clinical, but during that process, something really cool happened. My parents, who owned a family business that was right up the road from the treatment center, agreed to hire a close friend of mine to work for their company alongside me. He proved invaluable, and that started a cascade event that led to the hiring of a large number of clients from the program, both men and women, and it worked wonders both ways. It also kept me very close to the program since I found myself managing these people who were still fresh in recovery and rebuilding their lives.

In time, as my life outside of the program grew and grew, what can I say—I found myself busier and busier and attending fewer meetings. I also haven’t been back in a while, not since they relocated, however, I am still in good standing with the program and have a key to the city so to speak, meaning I can return anytime to attend a meeting or seek out a counselor if needed. They’ll drug test me of course, as they do anyone who hasn’t been around for a while, but this is a good thing and critical to keeping the client population safe. Also, by now I truly consider most of the staff my ʻOhana and we’re all “Facebook official” so they know what I’m up to these days.

The biggest shift in my program as of late came when I embarked on the journey of writing about recovery and substance use disorder. Trust me, writing a book is equivalent to a monstrosity of a thought process, and whatever the chosen topic is, authors take a deep dive into the subject matter because we’re all trying to convert meaning, themes, and purpose in our stories. One Hit Away took two years to complete, and in that time, I found myself rehashing all of the lessons handed to me that I wanted to convey to others who were maybe “sober curious” or wishing recovery for a loved one who was struggling with addiction. That process took me back in time when I cracked open all of the dusty journals I kept from treatment as I sought how to convey what recovery ultimately means to me.

Today, I do a few things to stay sober and ward off complacency. I attend meetings from time to time, mostly virtual, and fellowship with old friends from the program when time allows. I read a lot and write a lot, which helps me stay connected to where I came from. I recently returned to working out consistently, mainly in the form of swimming, which helps to neutralize stress and clear my head. I’m on a text-based gratitude list with my Uncle and I still journal. I also communicate with readers who reach out to me and do what I can to answer their questions the best I can, which ultimately piqued my interest in starting this advice column.

I’ll end with this; my program has changed over the years and it surely will change down the road. Today, I am forever fortunate to be in a position where I have found peace in recovery, which affords me to let my guard down and enjoy what life has to offer. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t play stupid games to win stupid prizes and though today I don’t suffer with thoughts of using, that wasn’t always the case. There was a time when I combed through the big book like a sacred text, but that’s what I needed at the time, and while I still work the program, my focus today has shifted to giving back, staying in service and sharing what was so freely given to me.